Children and Community - Where Has the Village Gone?

STATISTICS

Active Links: 267
Pending Links: 220
Todays Links: 0
Total Articles: 8
Total Categories: 42
Sub Categories: 147

Children and Community - Where Has the Village Gone?

Date Added: July 13, 2009 11:19:50 PM

Six years ago before giving birth to my two beautiful daughters, I went backpacking through Thailand, Cambodia, and Australia for about a year and a half. One day I happened to be exploring Bangkok by myself with no particular agenda. I was strolling along the bank of the Chao Phraya River when a diminutive monk in an orange robe walked toward me from the opposite direction. We smiled at each other and for some reason we both reflexively stopped to converse. “Hello!” I chirped. “Are you American?” he asked. “Yes, I am.” He asked if I had any plans for the day and whether I would care to join him at his wat (Thai word for temple.) When I agreed to join him, he said he had invited many Westerners in the past, but I was the first to actually take him up on his offer. A few days later my new friend, Boontom (the first syllable is pronounced like the “bon” in “bonbon”), invited me to travel with him to his sister’s village up north near the border with Laos. There was just one problem: Buddhist monks are not supposed to fraternize with women. We’re not supposed to even casually touch a monk on the arm or even hand him a piece of paper. If you do, they have to go through a lengthy purification ritual. Technically, we weren’t even supposed to be talking to each other without chaperones. “No problem,” he said. “I not be a monk when we travel.” Confused and fearful that I was on the verge of having a Buddhist version of The Thorn Birds on my hands, I did a little research. Apparently, almost every Thai Buddhist man becomes a monk for at least one week during their lifetime in order to make merit for their families in the afterlife. Some remain monks for a much longer period, like my friend did, because it is one way for impoverished families to ensure that their male children will be fed and educated. Boontom had been a monk for 20 years. Long story short, I discovered that it is acceptable for a monk to take a sabbatical and later return to the monastic life, although he will lose his place in the social hierarchy.The next day we boarded a bus and took the long overnight journey to Northern Thailand. Boontom, showing his mischievous side, relished the idea of surprising his sister whom he hadn’t seen in 20 years. Consequently, he didn’t bother to call and tell her of his impending arrival, not to mention that he was bringing along a tall, blonde foreigner. When we arrived in the village, to my surprise, I became an instant celebrity. Everyone wanted to meet the foreigner. I was the only person from the Western world that the villagers had ever met. Most of the children seemed frightened of me, yet curious at the same time, as they observed me from a safe distance. We spent the day preparing and sharing communal meals and hiking through the countryside. Despite being the center of attention, I also had the luxury of being an observer. Because I didn’t speak their language, I wasn’t able to participate in most of the conversations. My main observation: I could not tell which child belonged to which parent. Every adult took responsibility for caring for each and every child in the village. The whole village of maybe 50 inhabitants felt like one big family. Although by our standards they were very poor economically -- most of the people didn’t even wear shoes -- they were abundantly rich in love and social support by anyone’s standard. Where has the village gone in our society? As we know, more demands are being placed on today’s families than ever before. In today’s urban and suburban cultures, how do we create or find a village to support and nurture our families? Join a church, synagogue or temple. We don’t need these places to have a personal relationship with our creator, but we do need them for fellowship. The key is to really become involved. Weekly attendance probably won’t create the sense of community you’re seeking. Become involved on a regular basis in a small play group when your children are young. It can be uncomfortable at first meeting new people, but these parents could become some of your closest friends. They can be an incredible support for you and you for them. One friend I met through an organized playgroup became such a close friend of mine that we now trade babysitting each other’s children every week so we can go out and have date nights with our husbands. Enlist your current social network. Are your friends off and running in a million different directions like you are? Do you get together with your extended family only on holidays and birthdays? You can create your own village by hosting casual social events on a regular weekly basis in your home. Unlike the small rural village, it takes consistent, committed action to create a village in our fractionated, fast-paced world. But the payoff of love and support that you give and receive for you and your kids will make the extra effort well worth it.

Ratings You must be logged in to leave a rating.
Average rating: (0 votes)

Comments

No Comments Yet.

You must be logged in to leave a Comment.

ARTICLES

The Relationship Company Launches Local Dating Service in Omaha, NE
Cameron Sharpe is the CEO of the company. Therelationshipcompany.com is the first company ever to launch a Click and Mortar business model giving its members online access to its database of single men and women and the added personal touch of offeri

The Relationship Company Launches Local Dating Service in Boston, MA
Cameron Sharpe is the CEO of the company. Therelationshipcompany.com is the first company ever to launch a Click and Mortar business model giving its members online access to its database of single men and women.

The Relationship Company Launches Local Dating Service in Houston, TX
The reception we received in Houston exceeded my expectations by a long shot, said a surprised Sharpe. A lot of the success has to do solely with the people we hired to run our office.

Parenting Tips - Seven Ideas to Make Your Life Easier
It’s not easy being a parent, particularly of young children. Whether you have one, three, five or more children, the premise is the same: It’s your job to provide 24/7 care for these little people. How do you do this?

Children and Community - Where Has the Village Gone?
Six years ago before giving birth to my two beautiful daughters, I went backpacking through Thailand, Cambodia, and Australia for about a year and a half. One day I happened to be exploring Bangkok by myself with no particular agenda.